I’d like to introduce the new Menu-Matic! At the touch of a button, it generates a random recipe idea from its arsenal of popular ingredients and pretentious preparations. You can also enter your own ingredients, and it’ll come up with something truly abominable—but very, very fancy—to do with them.
You see, I’ve noticed that to a no-fuss-no-muss commoner like me, a lot of trendy new recipes seem to follow the same formula: just take a bunch of fashionable ingredients and cram them all into one dish, with very swish words like “dry-roasted” and “coulis” in between. Once I had figured out the secret formula, I programmed a computer to do it for me. And for you. So now we have this silly thing, you and I.
For a randomizer, it’s a pretty good imitation of life. Like most of us, it occasionally manages to come up with an idea that could be crazy enough to work, maybe, in the hands of the right cook:
But the rest of the time, the Menu-Matic’s guesses pretty much range anywhere from pretty bad…
…to very, very, very bad.
So go ahead, roll the dice! And if you should ever find yourself inspired to make something you find on the Menu-Matic (what are you, crazy?), I would love for you to tell me about it, so that I might share in your joy/failure/fever dream.