You know what I never liked? Butter mints. They were always right up there with those peanut butter chewy things in the orange papers. And circus peanuts. Oh, and candy corn. There must be a whole aisle in some frightful underworld grocery devoted to second-rate Halloween candy, ten cents a pound, guaranteed to disappoint even the most laid-back trick-or-treater. And this store, the rest of the year, ships billions and billions of butter mints worldwide, actually paying corporate customers to accept them.
Otherwise, how is it that every mom-and-pop operation on the planet can afford to have their four-color logo stamped on these things? Seriously! Besides, they taste like fossilized sugar with a hint of perfume, which is a dead giveway. They’re cheap with a capital eep.
Anyway, my friend Jenny likes them. A lot.
Hey, there are a lot of things about a lot of people that I don’t understand.
When Jenny moved into her first grown-up apartment last fall, I knew how much she had been looking forward to having a place she could decorate just so, without having to take anybody else’s tastes into consideration. That’s why figuring out a housewarming present was a little bit of a challenge. I knew her kitchen was fully stocked, and I didn’t want to risk giving her something decorative that she might feel obligated to have on display. Her master decorating plan involves white painted wood and lots of florals, which is very pretty indeed, but isn’t a design aesthetic I feel entirely qualified to contribute to.
So I made some butter mints in the colors of her decor. I figured they wouldn’t last long enough to become a visual burden, and surely I’d be able to tolerate the hideous insult of one of the world’s worst candies long enough to whip a up one little batch, right?
That is the long version of this story. The short version is that I made some homemade butter mints, tasted one while it was still fresh and hadn’t become rock-hard, chalky and oddly hollow, and instantly changed my mind about the entire confection. Viva la butter mint! I take back everything I ever said about them. They’re delightful. They’re candy’s best-kept secret.
Not only are they secretly very, very tasty, but they can also be molded into virtually any shape. Even buttons! Which is adorable. Here’s an easy (but somewhat time-consuming) recipe for the ones I made. And in case you’re curious, they have been fully approved by the butter mint connoisseur in my life.
Frankly, it took me months to come up with buttons. I could not figure out what to mold them into. I wonder what other shapes would be good?